From the desk of Qween Ho

Tonight! Ho hits Kansas City! at Missie B's 8pm

2011-08-13T06:33:00.000-07:00

8pm Show!

Missie B's

805 W. 39th Street

Kansas City, MO

2011-08-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

Ho hits Chicago this weekend for 2 shows!
First Stop: Saturday, August 6, at Berlin! 10pm-12am
Doing 6-8 songs! With Mistress Vana, Anastasia Santana and MORE!

Second stop:
Sunday, August 7, at Hamburger Mary's Chicago, 8pm show!
Doing a full hour set! Featuring: CeeCee LaRouge and Phoenix Envy

Power Outage Postpones Ho Show, but dis Ho will go on!

2011-07-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

Coulda sworn I was walkin into a big butthole tonight it was so dark and balmy...but no...I was walking into the bar I would be performing at, if there wasn't a power outage! So we had a black out party in the parking lot, and suspended the show until tomorrow night: 11pm, at Raydius, Newport News, VA. Sure it sucks that there was a power outage, but I gots ta say....I loves these people, and its impromptu shit like this that makes me love being a ho!

Look at what I gots to do today:

Did someone say, "Let's get colonial? And see some ugly kids!?"

I am DOWN!

Okay enough of Colonial Williamsburg! Its 115 degrees! Thank God I don't have to dress

up in dem old time forefather costumes. Bored now...I'm hungry.... good thing cuz its time for.....

I'ma ride dis train and eat it! Its a Sushi Train!!!!

Included in the MEGA Chinese Buffet I mowed down on!!!!

I'm full...

Okay...so the news of the power outage hit us HARD...so I hit this one eared,
life-size, automated miniature pony, but then I was sweet to it...it didn't care...
animals is stoopit.

"Sorry, Ponty! You so stoopit! Gimme kiss!"

Didn't get enough of the anger out, so....I smacked some bisches!

And yes....ended up partying in the parking lot with my favorite trailer tranny,

Eunita Biskit!

Now...my ass is sweaty, so ...See ya tomorrow...which is now today...
Saturday, 11pm, back at Raydius, y'all!

On the road againtz! Next Stop: Newport News, VA

2011-07-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

Friday July 29! 11pm, 6157 Jefferson Ave. Newport News, VA 757-825-0440

I'M BACK!

2011-07-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

Took a little time off to rejuvenate! Trust and believes, I needed it after the whole Sandy Bernhard SF Pride experience, more on that at the shows, but put it this way: I made like Gloria Gaynor and survived, hunty! But I'm black with a whole slew of upcoming dates, y'all!!! See you soontz!!! Here's some Southern Cali Ho-Shows to attend before I hit the road again!

7/23/2011 :: West Hollywood, CA Hamburger Mary’s WEHO STUNNING with Calpernia Addams!

7/24/2011 :: Long Beach Executive Suite 9:30 show with MissConception and Tammie Brown!

7/28/2011 :: Long Beach Laugh Factory! Jason Dudey’s Come Out Laughing Show! 8pm Get back in the closet for 15 minutes of heaven with me!

7/28/2011 :: Starlette Review at Hamburger Mary’s Long Beach! 10pm Ho performs 3 mini sets!

SF Pride! I'm coming for you!!!

2011-06-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

You can come see my Highness Honess at all of these events this week!
We will be giving away free tickets to Sandra Bernhard's show, "I Love Being Me, Don't You?"
at all of the pre-Pride parties!

Wednesday 6/22/2011, 8pm-10pm, CD Signing and Singing a song at Cocomo’s Taste of Drag, 538 Castro St.

Thursday 6/23/2011, 5pm-9pm, BeYou(tiful) Pride Kick Off Happy Hour at Rebel,

1760 Market Street

with Wendy Ho, Lonnie Tuck, DJ Hawthorne and some YUMMY bbq!

But you shouldn't take your chances on winng the tix, cuz that ain't guaranteed!
Purchase Your Tickets for Friday June 24th, 7pm, HERE NOW!
Purchase Your Tickets for Saturday June 25th, 7pm, HERE NOW!

Detroit, Make Way for Da Ho!!! THIS SUNDAY!

2011-06-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Guess what, San Franthico?

2011-06-03T02:39:00.000-07:00

I'm still HERE...AND QUEER...ARE YOU USED TO IT?

Come see me LATE tonight for a couple of songs over at The End Up:

GHETTODISCO!!!

I go on around 1 or 2am, cuz its an afterhours, boo. WAKE UP, BITCH!

San Francisco! This THURSDAY!!!! 8pm at Risque!

2011-06-01T01:20:00.000-07:00

GET YO TICKETS HERE FOR $10, OR THEY'RE $15 AT THE DOOR!
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/177411
Risque is located at 45 Maiden Lane, in the Union Square Area, right behind Gump's
Department store.

View Larger Map

This is it, y'all. The...(lip quiver) Oprah Winfrey Show is Over

2011-05-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize there's the OWN network, and she's really NOT going anywhere, but she was my babysitter growing up! The cool babysitter that let me eat poptart soup with out judgement....well..until she went on that protein drank diet. I will miss spending my afternoontz with you, gurl!

Only 8 episodes of Oprah left!

2011-05-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

It's really starting to sink in, hobags!!! What are we gonna dooooooooooo???
Please don't go, O!!!

Do you know the way to San Hogay?

2011-05-07T01:37:00.000-07:00

Come join me in the wine bar, whinos!

TONIGHT: SACRAMENTO: FACES: 11PM!

2011-05-06T01:36:00.000-07:00

Yup! Gon get real, real stoopit!
2000 K Street, Sacramento

TONIGHT!!! BIG TOP, SAN FRANCISCO!

2011-04-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

BIG TOP is proud to present WENDY HO - LIVE in Concert!
2 SETS AT 11:30PM, 1AM
CLUB 8: 1151 FOLSOM STREET

One part skilled singer, one part comedienne, one part white rapper, and ALL flamboyant entertainer! This hilarious faux queen is SF ONE NIGHT ONLY to perform her hits "I stole yo purse", the new youtube phenomena "Oprah Winfrey" and many more.

The evening's show will be emceed by San Francisco Drag Royalty GINA LA DIVINA. The talent doesn't stop with show stoppers Suppositori Spelling, Chastity Belle, Tweaka Turner, Manicure Versace, and Miss Terry T all gracing the stage.

JUST ADDED BROOKS THE DJ!

Big Top is a homo-disco-circus that attracts fags, dykes, and tranimals from all over the bay area. Looking to make a new friend or the love of your life? Make sure to pop in the upstairs lights out lounge. The beats don't stop til 3am so drink it up and dance it off.

Do Not Miss this special one-night-only event.

TONIGHT: SAN DIEGO!!! 8PM AT URBAN MO'S

2011-04-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

Wendy Ho had so much fun at Hillcrest Mardi Gras, she is coming back for sedonds!
The fabulous Wendy Ho is coming back for an exclusive show at Urban Mo's, Friday, April 29th at 8pm!
Support this crass, sexy, soulful and ballsy HO! Come to Mo's, April 29th at 8pm, a HO's gotta eat --> $5 Cover
This show WILL SELL OUT! Reservations for tables being accepted now! Call Urban Mo's: 619.491.0400

Wendy Ho vs. Lonely Island

2011-04-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

Does the hilarious new video from "The Lonely Island" pay homage to

Wendy Ho's "Poop Noodle" video release last year? You be the judge:

Wendy Ho on The Michelle LeCours Show

2011-04-04T00:57:00.000-07:00

If you ever wondered--how da eff did this bische turn out like this? Have a listen to this in- depth Wendy Ho interview on The Michelle LeCours Show. Several People have called it "The Real, True Hollywood Story: Wendy Ho!"
Wendy Ho on The Michelle LeCours Show by wendyhoshow

Tribe it out!

2011-04-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

Has anyone noticed all the gorgey tribal patterns that are out right now? Its got me springin and praisin and takin them shackles off and dancin in circles! AND it also has me in a state of appreciation of my tribe. Not only my immediate family and friendtz, but the band of sistas and brothas that I have the fortune of performing and playing with and for on an almost daily basis. Its powerful and playful stuff. I loves it, and I just wanted to say THANK YA!

"Just the Tip" from yo favorite ho:

2011-03-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

I'm a white bische with a big ole ass, so I'm used to the street gawking that some men are apt to do when I walk by.

There's a part of me that appreciates it, cuz I know that looks don't last forever, and while my ass is still somewhat firm and high, it deserves some attention. I have no problem with the occasional, "God Bless you, Mami." However, there's also times when I'm offended by the attention, not because someone's acknowledging my womanly form, but because of WHO is acknowledging it. Now dis ho is officially OFF the market, so there's NO way I'd be goin home with any of y'all, but if you must continue to harass me and my sisters of the traveling big ass, and you think you even have a chance, here's a tip...just the tip:

Consider yo muffuckin mode of transportation...Are you on a bike, scooter, or how very 90s of you, rollerblades? What exactly do you think is gonna happen? That I'm gonna hop on them handlebars, scooter platform, or yo back and ride off into the sunset witchoo? Come on now. And if you in a car and doin a drive-by-holla, please know that I can't understand a word you just said.

Now excuse me while me and my ass get on with the day.

In the meantime, watch this video of these Middle Eastern Red Necks, proving that people really is the same everywhere ya go. I could swear these boys are down at Lake of the Ozarks! Hala! Hala!

Back in HOllywood!

2011-03-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

Hey y'allz! I just got back from my little mini-tour of KC, Texas, and San Diego!
Here are some hot shots!

1st stop my HOme town of Kansas City, where I played at Missie B's and my good friend and TALENTED photog, Rebecca Peters shot these:

Next stop Beaumont, TX at Scooby Blues' Dance Bar, but none of the 12 people that showed up took any pictures! Thanx, bisches!

Next: Houston, TX to play at the Crocker Bar for my sweet lil baby DJ Johnny Cook's birfday! The place was like my fudge, it was packed, boo!

DJ Johnny Cook and I

And finally, back in the great state of California for Hillcrest Mardi Gras in San Diego!! Sam Ramirez took these photos, and dey look real good!

I will eat you and dis microphone!

Pretties, pretties!

You are WELCOME.

I'm going to sleeps now!

2 New Must See Promo Videos for Upcoming Ho Road Gigs!

2011-02-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

March 5, Houston, TX Crocker Bar

March 8, San Diego, Hillcrest Mardi Gras!

Happy Sunday! Gospel late lunch!

2011-02-20T14:45:00.000-08:00

Here's my set list for my Gospel Late Lunch:
First let's get down with some Gospel

Now let's give some thanks and praise to Oprah:

Time to lay hands on the afflicted:

Today's sermon is about KARMA:

AND remember, though the mountains may fall and the hills turn to dust, the love of the lord will STAND. A big thanks to Tammy Keech for not only putting this slideshow together of her vactions, but for singing that beautiful high soprano!!! Special shout out to Jats who said "I'm the most anti-religious person I know. Jesus doesn't exist, evolution does, etc, etc. And this song still rocks."---hahaha! He's just feelin the Jesus and doesn't realize it!

I can't stand the rains...but sometimes I loves it.

2011-02-18T18:18:00.000-08:00

Its raining today in LA, and I've actually allowed myself to enjoy it. See, I preferz the sunny days that LA gives inxs, but there is something to be said for takin some time and lettin it raintz. Today I am remindeds of how I used to spend weeks like this in the New York winter-- holed up in my apartment eating too many carbs and listening to blues music thinking that one of the 2 passions would supply some warmth. Neither did a very good job, but here I am revisiting the habit, and since its only one day as opposed to 30, I'm a gonna sit right down and eat popcorntz and contemplates Ho doin a tribute to Ann Peebles.

Hey now HAYYYYYYYYYY!

2011-02-15T23:17:00.000-08:00

Its the day after Valentine's Day and I'm still seeing the world through a sugar high haze!!! Brought to you by my sweet Pink Kitties that bought me Valentine's Chocolates last night in Long Beach. I sure did use up 12 of my Weight Watchers points on dem Russel Stovers before the show even started, but it was WORFS it!!! Yes, I'm feelin just like J-Hud in dem commercials! Although I can't say if she's satisfied or really hungry when she singin "Its a new dawn-uh, its a new day-uh!" Yes, gurl! Werk them points. Anywho, since I'm still buzzing from my VD, I'd like to talks about a very special someone that I LOVE and ADORE. Not my man--although I loves him too, but a special someone that I happen to be sharing the stage with tomorrow night in West Hollywood: Michelle Buteau.

This bische is FIERCE and HIGHLARIOUS. I've known her for going on 7 years now, and every time she takes the stage, she takes a little pee from me. Our paths have been fortunate enough to cross several times with out any planning AT ALL. Aside from living in New York back in the day, we ended up in Ireland at the same time and decided to go on a guided tour of Wicklow together with her mom! She lost her earring, and I left that day thinkin we must have been witches back in another lifetime together. Fast forward to 6 months later, we then ended up on the same show in Miami together: Fruit Cocktail. Seeing her walk into an awkward situation backstage, and IMMEDIATELY acknowledge its awkwardness put me over the edge, hunny. Then we moved to LA at the same time--again, unplanned, and KISMET!!! So we've finally taken the hint from the universe, and have put together a little show called: THE HO and BUTEAU SHOW.
If you're in West Hollywood tomorrow, please come out and see it. It is gonna be stoopit!!! With headlining comedians: Al Del Bene, Baron Vaughn, AJ Stacey, and US. 8pm. 2/16/11. Palms Bar: 8572 Santa Monica Blvd. $10 cover, 2 for 1 if you arrive before 7:30!

Michelle also just happened to make her Lopez Late Show debut this past week as Neutrogena Vega, and again...I. Fell. In. Love. Have my babies, girl!!!
Check it OUT:
Brad Womack Gets Confronted by a Bachelorette | Lopez Tonight

Wendy Ho's Tribute to Oprah Winfrey

2011-01-31T12:31:00.000-08:00

As Oprah makes her way over to her OWN network and off of the Oprah Winfrey show, I'm shedding some serious TEARS. If you're like me and grew up with the Queen, then you know some serious withdrawl is gonna ensue...and not the kind that can be filled with Gayle, Dr. Phil, Suze, Dr. Ahhh, or any of the new contestants on that "Your OWN Show," sorry O! Send me some casseroles, or I'm gonna start eating the magazine.

Now serving: TRANNY REALNESS

2011-01-29T17:01:00.000-08:00

So you KNOW I always wanted to be a flamboyant entertainer ala Bette Midler crossed with some Lil Kim (before she was beefin with Nicki)? Well, I'm doin it, y'all. I am whatcha call a bonafide female drag queen! So much so that I get booked to werk with the BEST of the BEST drag entertainers in the world. I had NO idea that life would have taken me down this road, but I'm thrilled that it did, cuz I get to see some of the most creative, inventive and HILARIOUS shit ever, and it rocks my damn world. Its not always easy being a misfit, but when certain niches (and bisches) do embrace a Ho, I am ever so thankful. So if you in Vegas on Sunday night and you lookin for somethin CUTE to do...please come to The Gipsy to get some Ho Lovins!!! I'll be performing with Chad Michaels--who IS pretty much Cher, Shannel from RuPaul's Drag Race, and other fierce, fabulous queens...like me;-) 11pm! 4605 Paradise Rd.

Back from the San Frandisco!

2011-01-27T14:55:00.000-08:00

She's homeless! She's homo! She's San FranciscHO! Oh yes, lil hoz! I am back from the land of she-bonics and she-rainbows, and am feelin REAL goots. See, I have a love/hate with the city by the bay. I love that she's SO PRETTY (if you ignore the stinky peeps in boxes), and so artsy and that there's some of the best irreverent drag there that I've ever seent, but I HATE that it can be SNOBBY, over sensitive, and that she's a hard nut to crack when it comes to getting people off dey asses in that sleepy lil town to come to a show. People are flakey. All, front and flake complaints ASIDE.. my show this past Monday at El Rio was the best turnout EVAH for a San Francisco Ho-Show, and I am thrilled! Over 100 people showed to enjoy some ho, contribute to sendin someone to Africa that actually wants to contribute to the children of this earf, and did anybody have one of dem tacos? OH MY LARD! Seriously fried lard! SO GOOD. So to those of y'all that showed up on a Monday and contributed, BLESS Y'ALL.
If you in LA come sing somethin with me tonight at Marys!!!

TONIGHT 1/24/2011, Wendy Ho is INTO AFRICA! A benefit to send Miche Dobrow to Africa!

2011-01-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

8pm! San Francisco's El Rio, $10 cover! We are sending a bische to Africa in Style! Presented by: Gilbert Pickett, featuring: Munt and Wendy Ho!

Michelle "Miche" Dobrow wants to go to Africa to help orphaned children, and Wendy Ho, MUNT, and Gilbert Pickett are raising funds to send her!!!

Wendy Ho: crass, sexy, soulful, ballsy, and now... philanthropic! You may have caught her hilarious antics on MTV's Logo, or telllin it like it is on Showtime's I Can't Believe I'm Still Single! Maybe you caught Jennifer Coolidge spoofing her on FX's Nip Tuck? Never heard of this ho? Well, don't miss the chance to see this up and coming gay icon that has drawn comparisons from Bette Midler to Lil Kim. Equal parts dirty feminist rapper, soul singer, and musical parodist, Ho is making her way to San Francisco's el Rio for a one night only performance on January 24, 2010 with Wendy Ho: Into Africa! (A Fundraiser to send Michelle "Miche" Dobrow to Africa!) There's something for everyone in this hour (or so) long set featuring her hit songs "Bitch I Stole Yo Purse," "Fuck Me," and more lyrical miracles about doin drugs, poop, Oprah Winfrey and her grandma's vagina!

JUST ADDED TO THE SMUT... MUNT:
Munt is an exceptionally entertaining six-piece band based locally in San Francisco. Their songs are crude yet danceable. The lyrics are vulgar yet hilarious, and the music ranges from punk rock to hip-hop with a strong electronic element. Munt is definitely a party that sums up the San Francisco lifestyle. They celebrate some of the most intriguing and esoteric aspects of our culture with humorous and perverse storytelling and musical compositions that put a smile on your face and make you shake your ass. Munt is a band of queer-core party punks, raw and unfiltered, bringing you a circus of tranny-talking, daddy-chasing, MUNI-riding craziness.Www.Facebook.com/MUNTmusic

This evening is presented by Gilbert Pickett as a fundraiser to send his dear friend Michelle "Miche" Dobrow to Africa. Michelle has been invited to support an African orphanage helping developmentally disabled youth. Dobrow currently works with developmentally disabled adults as an escort and life skill development specialist. We want to help her and hopefully others in our LGBT community to raise money to cover their costs here in San Francisco while they deliver charity to their cause. What better way to raise money than through an evening of music and comedy? What better way to send her off than with a performance by an artist who is clearly "into Africa," herself? Wendy Ho! This event is open to everyone who is over 21 years! $10 admission, raffles, door prizes, and much, much more! Doors open at 7:00pm, Show is at 8pm. El Rio is located at: 3158 Mission StreetSan Francisco, CA 94110, (415) 282-3325

San Francisco: 3 song set at GhettoDisco, full show at El Rio!

2011-01-21T02:19:00.000-08:00

HO my gah!!! so HAPPY to be back in eth eth!!! Friday I'll be keepin it ghetto at GhettoDisco at the EndUp! I'll be hoin in the stro on Saturday and Sunday, and keepin it REALZ over at El Rio on Monday night in a benefit to send Michelle "Miche" Dobrow to Africa!!! THRILLED beyond belief to be back in one of my all time favorite cities!!!! yay!!!

KaraHOke! TONIGHT, WEST HOLLYWOOD! Hamburger Marys!

2011-01-20T09:16:00.000-08:00

Gon be so STOOPIT. SINGIN DIS:

TONIGHT! 1/19/11. 7:30PM. THE PALMS BAR, WEHO

2011-01-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

We hoin in WeHo tonight!!!
Matthew Moore. Dina Martinez. Kato Kaelin. Rebecca Donohue. Michelle Buteau. Wendy Ho.
YUP. Gonna make you sweat till ya bleed.
7:30pm. $5. The Palms Bar. 8572 Santa Monica Blvd.

Funny Bisches! This WEDNESDAY NIGHT!

2011-01-18T02:10:00.000-08:00

I am so mutherfudging excited about the upcoming show at The Palms! Especially becuz I am being reunited with these 2 whores:
Michelle Buteau and Becky Donohue!
I got to know these ladies back in NYC as an up and coming ho, and I adore them both. Not just cuz they are good bisches, but because they are FUNNY AS FUDGE!!! Check em out here, and if you're in West Hollywood check em out THIS WEDNESDAY NIGHT at The Ho & Buteau Show, The Palms Bar, the old West Hollywood lesbian bar. 8572 Santa Monica West, 7:30pm, $5 cover!
check em out! Dey is funny, beautiful and deserves RESPECT!

MICHELLE BUTEAU!

REBECCA DONOHUE!

TONIGHT, LONG BEACH! 8pm!

2011-01-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

Delivering an hour long set of shitty ditties that you'll be wanting to sing along to and quote forevah. Forevah, evah? Forevah.

TONIGHT! SOMEBODY GON GET PREGNUNT! FAULTLINE! TRUCKSTOP!

2011-01-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

12 MIDNIGHT PERFORMANCE BY YOZE TRULY!
DJ MC B spins yo favorite white trash hits!
4216 Melrose, Los Angeles

TONIGHT! KARAHOKE with Wendy Ho!

2011-01-13T15:06:00.000-08:00

I prefer DIS:

But if you wanna sing "All Dat Jizz" and "Summernights" AGAIN...I'll letcha hang. Shit.

Happy Anniversary, LA LA Land!

2011-01-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

Its been a year since I headed out of New York City in the dead of winter to the land of LA, and I'm feelin all Diana Ross with my reflections over here. Many of the names and faces that I get to see on a daily basis have changed. Some of y'all I miss, some of y'all-- we needed some space, and some of y'all are givin me dejavu--did you follow me? I be livin in a big gurl apartment wif my soon to be huzband, and gettin some regular deep dickin. I'm getting to know many of the peeps in this entertainment community. I'm still bustin ass to book good gigs, trynna figure out what made the last sucky one suck--it was probably me, and STILL trynna lose those last 10 dammit! I take solace in the fact that life is fuckin hard for everyone, and I'm lucky that anyone even gives a poop about me or what I have to share. People ax me all the time, "How's LA?" Which I usually will give some general answer like "oh, its good, gurl!" Cuz, most of the time, I know they really ain't lookin to listen. They're either lookin to agree with me on how amahhhzing it is or lookin to disapprove with how vapid it is. All I know is, that I'm able to give more here and as a result, I'm gettin more of my needs met. I don't think it has anything to do with the geography or the weather, I think it has everything to do with timing and the funny way life works when you are open to off leash areas and rest stops--lots of rest stops--they can be lucrative! As an entertainer I yearn to please you with my answer, but as an artist I just couldn't give a fuck whatchoo think about where I've chosen to live! Whether you livin in a city that constantly buzzes with creativity (aka neuroticism) and is in need of an enema, one that's chilled to the max (aka laziness) on xanax and requires mother nature's electric shock therapy in the form of lil earfquakes, or somewhere in between (God help ya)-- we're all pretty much the same, especially in the field of entertainment: Needy fuckin bisches. So after a year of livin here, I raise my glass to: NEEDS BEIN MET! Inspirations, perspirations, expression, love, and all them retards I've met and continue to meet along the way. I love you. I NEED YOU. You're all the fuckin same, and so am I: Uniquely gifted voices that need to be (and sometimes deserve to be) heard! I'm glad you is HERE!!!

Now put yo penis on my shoulder and let's be friends.

Tonight! 8pm-ish performance at Here Lounge: SIZE!

2011-01-09T01:26:00.000-08:00

I'ma gonna give you some size, bitch. DJ Aaron Elvis + Wendy Ho! NYC reunited and it feels SO GOOD!

Here lounge is located at: 696 N. Robertson Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90069 (310) 360-8455

TONIGHT WITH DETOX!

2011-01-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight! KARAHOKE with Wendy Ho!

2011-01-06T07:55:00.000-08:00

Sign up at 9:30 PM, Hamburger Mary's WeHo, 8288 Santa Monica Blvd. I'll sing, you'll sing, bachelorette whores will sing, insanity ensues!

Listen up TONIGHT at 8pm!

2011-01-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Gregg Potter and Dina Martinez are very excited to have me on Dina & Gregg Show this wednesday night at 8PM Live on http://hottalkla.com/radio
Dina and I go way back to my first visit to LA about 3 years ago, and she make me LAFF!!! She will be on The Ho & Buteau Show! January 19, 2010, 8pm at The Palms along with: Kato Kalin, Matthew Moore and so much MORE!!!

Happy New Years, Bisches!

2011-01-03T02:26:00.000-08:00

Here’s to 2011! Hopefully there won’t be too many more videos booted from YouTubes, you’ll just say NO to Tina, and YES to butt lubes, and you’ll NEVER get a Poop Noodle!!! This year I’ll continue hoin in WeHo every Thursday, funk it all at Faultline’s Truckstop LA, and lay it down in Long Beach! I also have plans to secrete salvation in San Francisco, penetrate poonannies in Pensacola, FL, hammer dem holes in Houston, kick the kunts of Kansas City, and take a nump in New York City!

TONIGHT! 10PM NYE SHOW at Hamburger Mary's WEHO!

2010-12-31T09:01:00.000-08:00

Seattle! I'm CUMMING!

2010-12-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

12/28/2010:: SEATTLE! Wendy Ho’s Holiday Hangover Show Neighbours, Seattle, 1509 Broadway Seattle, WA 98122 (206) 324-5358 This weekend ONLY $7.50 tickets enter the code “hohoho”:

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/139688

Description

You may have caught her hilarious antics on MTV's Logo, or telllin it like it is on Showtime's I Can't Believe I'm Still Single! Maybe you caught Jennifer Coolidge spoofing her on FX's Nip Tuck? Well, Seattle, now is your chance to see her LIVE! Wendy Ho, the outrageous comedic-musical phenomenon, has been spreading her Ho-ness around the world and is making her way to Seattle's own Neighbours for one night only on December 28, 2010 with Wendy Ho's Holiday Hangover Show! Ms. Ho will be servin' up her blatantly irreverent humor and raunchy R&B tunes that have made her a national cult sensation. Featuring her classic hits: "Bitch I Stole Yo Purse," and "Fuck Me," she will also be singing songs from the brand new album, Yes, I'm a Ho! and her recent mixtape release: Number 2. So check out Wendy Ho's Holiday Hangover on December 28, 2010, 8pm at Neighbours Nightclub! Tickets are $10 online, $15 at the door.

Proceeds from the event will go to The Seattle Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Abbey of St. Joan Grant Fund. This money is then handed back out to the community once a year at The Sisters Anniversary Party. For more information, visit www.theabbey.org

For more info visit:
www.wendyho.net
http://www.neighboursnightclub.com/
NOTE: No one under 21 years old will be admitted.

Notes

Doors open at 7pm!

Happy Friday, Y'all! Light dem Candles!

2010-11-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

Dis song was inspired by when I wents to a candle party and got so effed up on white wine spritzers, I ended up ordering TONS of scented candles...so I lit em all one night and got all sexxxxy wif my man!

aaaaand, I'm BLACK! SHOUT OUT BLOG!

2010-11-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

What's up HOLLYWEIRDS? I am back from up north, and am glad to be home in our 90 degree heats. Although I did ENJOY gettin all rained in with my friends Darren and Rufus in SF and eatin till I put on an extra 5 lbs of comfort, I must admit, I like it hots, boos, and I needs it to sweat off all dis "water weight." I do apologize that I was unable to update my blog whilst in the midst of full on FALL (in loves) in SF and Sacramento.
Here's what I was up to:

Interview with the NOTORIOUS JOE, dis bitch and I was separated at birfs. She is a sistra fo shizzle. Check out our times together HERE.

GHETTO DISCO with DJ David Hawthorne proved to be the PERFECK blend of nassy and classy. Although I could have done without the skrange man from Germany rubbing up on me and tellin me that, "bonerz is natural" on the dance flo, to which I replied, "so is my fiance's fist in yo face, bitch!" Can't a Ho just be a bride to be? I had a BLAST. Caroline Lund is my sista fo life and DJ Hawthorne and I will be teaming up in the future and bringin GhettoDisco to LA on a monthly basis, just like my period, honey! Come on out dis Saturday!

Pollo Del Mar covered my show at the Triple Crown in San Francisco real cutes! You can read about it HERE. I really had such an amazing time in SF and in Sacramento. When you tryins to grow a ho, it takes a village and these people show and PROVED, honey. I hope it continues to grow, so I can continue to HO, you feels me? There were peeps there that knew every damn werd to everythang I was layin downs, and of course everytime I get people to sing the chorus on "OPRAH WINFREY," a tranny becomes a woman! Loves it. Gilbert Pickett, please grab the fruit one mo times!!

Sacramento. Badlands. So glad to see my crew out showin some proper love to a ho. Ron and TJ at Da Badlands made it SO much cuter than last time. Please don't put a ho back at The Depot, bitches. Extra special thanks to my girls: Sonia Castro and Cyndi Mitchell Paul for always knowin how to handle a ho, and oh my gah....Mark Snyder, in spite of the fact that you is a gay Republicantz, I will love you forever for havin a gotdamn HO PRIDE PARADE in the middle of my set. You were THERE, BOO!!! John Kalinowski, yo presence was felt, gurl.

It is a damn long road to ho, y'alls, but I am grateful and blessed to know that anybody gives a FUCK about what I does in this age of everybody bein a "star." My prayer and advice is, "PLEASE HAVE TALENT TO BACK UP THE PRODUCTION, BITCHES--or AT LEAST be like Kim Zolciak, in which case, ignunce makes up for the lack of talent."

Tonight I'm at Karaoke in West Hollywoods Hamburger Marys! Gonna be SO stoopits. MeeMaw's Pussy. Poop Noodle. Fuck Me. Oprah Winfrey. I'll be singin em. You be singin what, Ho? What, what?

TONIGHT! 1230 AM I'm singin happy birfsday and 2 songs @ GHETTODISCO!

2010-10-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

For more info visit: http://www.theendup.com/

I get there at 12:30am, go on at 1:30am!

cupcakes and hoz on the danceflo!!

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 8

2010-10-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

"Day In the Life"
Every day a good day when you a ho!!!

Dis is hot!!!!

2010-10-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my good friend Pollo Del Mar also known as journalist Paul E Pratt, I landed in the SF Bay Times! http://www.sfbaytimes.com/?sec=article&article_id=13885 Thanks, Pollo!!!!

Gay Fave Wendy Ho Releases New Album

By Paul E. Pratt
Published: October 21, 2010

Back-to-Back SF Performances Support Comedic Singer’s Yes, I’m a Ho!

Wendy Jo Smith has sure come a long way from the Ohio trailer park where she grew up. Trading her doublewide for the streets, the pretty blond with the big voice landed in New York nearly a decade ago where she became known as Wendy Ho. A few years later, she got straight-up gangster on her first album, The Gospel According to Ho.

Ho’s hilarious lyrics, outrageous image and massive internet appeal of early hits “Bitch, I Stole Yo’ Purse” and “Fuck Me” – the latter an hysterical and potty-mouthed take on the Oleta Adams power-ballad “Get Here” — made her an instant favorite among LGBT fans. Equal parts skilled singer, comedic genius, White rapper and drag queen, gays werenn’t the only ones taking note! F/X Network series Nip/Tuck even hired actress Jennifer Coolidge to parody Ho during an episode!

After whetting fans’ appetites by making her remix album Number 2 available as a free download earlier this summer, the hardest working girl in Ho-business finally released her sophomore album Yes, I’m a Ho! Oct. 11. Financed largely by a campaign asking fans to contribute, she brings her act to the Bay Area this weekend to promote the outrageous 11-song set.

On Fri., Oct. 22, Ho has a 1 a.m. performance at The Endup’s Ghetto Disco. She follows it Sun, Oct. 24, when Beatfish Productions presents The Wendy Ho & Co. Show with hosts Sister Roma and Pollo Del Mar at Triple Crown. Doors open at 5; Ho takes the stage at 7pm. Tickets are $15 in advance, $25 at the door.

Before landing in the Bay Area, the hilarious entertainer – mostly in character as “Wendy Ho” – shares about recording the Yes, I’m a Ho!, her “nassiest” song to date and, of course, the gay fans who love her.

(Bay Times) Fans financially supported the production of Yes, I’m a Ho! Tell me about that decision?

(Ho) Well, I got sick of turnin’ tricks, gurl! And don’tchoo know that the album sales from my first album The Gospel According to Ho all goes to makin’ me look all good, waxin’ my dingleberries, and a percentage goes to curing STDs that don’t go away, like herpes. Can you believe they still ain’t gots a cure? Dat is so annoyings to me. On the real, I turned to fans to help finance Yes, I’m a Ho! when a friend of mine suggested it. I’m always on the look out for new ways to raise funds, and a presale seemed like the way to go! I mean, if they were going to buy it anyways, I figured, “Why not buys it early, and help a Ho out?”

You indicate the gay community — especially drag queens who perform your songs — are among your biggest supporters. How did that happen?

I think it happened from “Fuck Me” being passed around on the internet. Drag queens started to perform their versions of it, and it just continued to spread. Honestly, I don’t really know how it happened, but I’m so glad that did!

Is it just my perception, or have your songs — like first single “Poop Noodle” from your mix-tape Number 2 — become even dirtier?

“Poop Noodle,” is prahlies the dirtiest song I’ve ever written, but the songs didn’t purposely get dirtier. I just write what’s there. I write what I know, and what I know is nassy.

“Tina,” your take on Beyonce’s “Halo” taken from Number 2, is a commentary on the crystal meth epidemic facing the gay community. What was your inspiration?

It was inspired by a friend of mine who was addicted to tina, a brother of a friend of mine, and some tina heads I’ve seen before. I’ve seen some beautiful gay men turn into skinny, strung out...Well, just listen to the song. You’ll hear what I’ve seen. I was also really angry ‘cause one of them bitches took my money to buy that shit, and nobody messes with my money.

You became a breakout favorite when “Bitch, I Stole Your Purse” landed atop LOGO’s Click List Video Countdown. Will material from Yes, I Am a Ho! pop up there too?

Oh, there’s gon’ be all sorts of surprises with this one!! Fingers are crossed!!

Have you ever received feedback from the mainstream artists whose songs you incorporate into your own — for example, Kenny Rogers for “The AIDS Gamble” or Oleta Adams, for your “Fuck Me” song, both found on The Gospel?

Nope. No feedback, but I would hope they would be honored the way I am when I hear drag queens do my shit.

Your vocal talent is really quite amazing. Were you auditioning for Broadway productions when you started recording as “Wendy Ho”?

Thanks, gurrrrrl! I was living in New York, but I never really auditioned for Broadway stuff. I was in a band, and did musical theater all through college and some regional theater stuff, but I got tired of having to fit into a box. I’d rather make people fit into mines!

You’re engaged now. Does that mean you’re no longer a “Ho”?

I still be bringin’ pleasure to the masses for cash, so I will always be a card-carryin’ ho-fessional! Trust and Believe!

You’re bringing your act to San Francisco on Oct. 24 for The Wendy Ho & Co Show at Triple Crown. Why is that exciting, and what should audiences expect?

Well its always exciting to be in SF! I’m gonna be singin’ some of the new songs from the mixtape and the album. As always, people should expect to walk away with wrinkled raisin face from laughin’ so hards and a sore butthole from bein’ pleasured so hard... Bring lubes!

For More Information, Visit: http://www.WendyHo.net

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 7

2010-10-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

"You Frew Dis"
A tale of classic revenge. Y'all done made me do dis.

San Francisco: 2 song set at GhettoDisco, full show at Triple Crown!!

2010-10-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 6

2010-10-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

"I am the Shit (When I'm on Stage)"
If ya don't know, now ya know!

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 5

2010-10-19T10:50:00.000-07:00

"Lucky Man"
This song goes out to my man, my lucky, lucky man. He lucky cuz I hode his dick when he pisses, cuz I milk his prostate till he cancer free, and cuz I can make a ham into a vajayjay.

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 4

2010-10-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Shake It Out the Leg"
How many of y'all shitcha pants in here over the age of 12? I have been shitting myself for a long time. I got sick of bein ashamed of it, so I started embracing it, and I made a dance to go alongs wif it! So if you evah needs to shitcho pants, just SHAKE IT OUT THE LEG, BISCHES!

<a href="http://wendyho.bandcamp.com/track/shake-it-out-the-leg">Shake It Out The Leg by Wendy Ho</a>

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 3

2010-10-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

"Gurl, Putcho Tampon In" for real, for serious, gurl. I know you ain't just bein a bische just cuz...putcha damn tampon in, and if its a heavy day DOUBLE UP!!!

<a href="http://wendyho.bandcamp.com/track/gurl-putcho-tampon-in">Gurl, Putcho Tampon In by Wendy Ho</a>
cont'd from FACEBOOK
....it ended up shifting around! It was by my bellybutton, in between my lips at one point, and yes...even lingering in my ass. But I was proud to know that I was surfing the Crimson Tide on a surfboard of bleached cotton that was prahly going to give me toxic shock syndrome cuz it thought it needed to be a tampon. Poor lil misguided maxipad who thought you was a tampon. You will always be my first.

TONIGHT, 10PM, DREAMGIRLS REVUE, RAGE WEST HOLLYWOOD

2010-10-12T16:02:00.000-07:00

Yes I'm a Ho: Track 2

2010-10-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

"I Can't Afford It (I'm Gonna Have to Abort It)" Yeah, you heard right bitch! Dis goes out to all dem babies dat wasn't SPOSED to be here. YOU WELCOME, lil bisches!!! Be glad yo ass ain't here for me to take my frustrations out on. Be glad you ain't got to suffer through wearin plastic bags from the grocery store to school--on yo body and yo feets. Be glad you ain't wakin my ass up, and bein babysat by da drag queens at Mommy's werk. You was loved enough for me to kills you befo' yo ass got here. Trust it was bettah this way.
<a href="http://wendyho.bandcamp.com/track/i-cant-afford-it-im-gonna-have-to-abort-it">I Can't Afford It (I'm Gonna Have To Abort It) by Wendy Ho</a>

Yes, I'm a Ho! is HEEEEYAH!!

2010-10-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

Happy National Coming Out Day, Y'all!!! How perfect is it that on this day, I also am releasing my second studio album, Yes, I'm a Ho! ? It perfect becuz, although I am not a gay man or woman, I certainly do relate to the plight of my beloved gay friends and fans. I too have had to embrace apart of myself that a lot of people have wanted me to remain silent about. I too have been bullied, beat up, and suppressed. Yes, I am You! And YES! I'M A HO!
The first track is, "Yes, I'm a Ho!" an affirmational tune about proclaiming and embracing that which others might gives you condemnation over! Dey is just jealous because yo condemnations causes condensations, and by condensations I mean sweat and cums!
Listen here now:
<a href="http://wendyho.bandcamp.com/track/yes-im-a-ho">Yes, I'm a Ho! by Wendy Ho</a>

We're streaming the entire album on Bandcamp until we get it up on iTunes! That means you can listen to every song FO FREES right now, right here: http://wendyho.bandcamp.com/album/yes-im-a-ho

xoxoxox

Pre-Sale is on, y'all!

2010-09-29T15:47:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! The time is drawing near! Yes, I'm a Ho! the new album from Wendy Ho will be release digitally on October 11, 2010! Order your copy today, and get it before all yo friends! Here's a preview of some of the songs:

SUHPRISE! Dildocorn isn't about corn on yo dildo!

2010-09-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Let's go back

2010-09-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

You know you wanna watch this again, and if you haven't watched it YET...you're welcumz!

Wendy Ho-The Special HoLympics

Wendy Ho | MySpace Music Videos

Ghetto Disco!

2010-09-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

In honor of this Saturday's GHETTO DISCO at The Palms in West Hollywood! Keep doin whatcha doin!

Love 45s like dis. I used to spin em in my living room sportin my baby ho fro! And you know dis!

Tomorrow night! 9/21 Performing with JACKIE BEAT!

2010-09-20T13:48:00.000-07:00

GET TICKETS HERE!

New Video! Wendy Ho- Poop Noodle!

2010-09-20T02:49:00.000-07:00

Number 2: the new FREE mixtape

2010-09-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

The brand new mixtape from Wendy Ho and Little Pioneer: Number 2 is here! Available for free download! Including the hit singles: "Poop Noodle" and "Oprah Winfrey!"

Yes, I'm a Ho!

2010-07-25T04:01:00.003-07:00

you found me...sorta

2010-02-21T12:17:00.006-08:00

but if you really wanna know me you'll visit:

www.wendyho.net

and watch:

http://www.vimeo.com/9595962

I'm OFFENSIVE?

2008-12-01T06:44:00.000-08:00

I thought I was just bein real....
well I guess if Eve Ensler says so.....must be true....she all smart and shit.

TWO NIGHTS ONLY!
TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

A no-holds-barred, rock-n-roll comedy show featuring the next generation of outspoken, outrageous women comedians! Presented by Eve Ensler (founder of V-Day and creator of The Vagina Monologues) and Julie Goldman (co-star of LOGO’s Big Gay Sketch Show) this show is guaranteed to be a balls-out comedy throw-down. No subject is off-limits and these hysterical ladies are guaranteed to ruffle some feathers saying the dangerous sh*#t you think but are SO not supposed to say out loud.

With live music by The Totally Offensive Band, host Julie Goldman, comedians Rachel Feinstein, Kate Rigg, Betsy Salkind and Shazia Mirza (all the way from the U.K.), plus the dirty R&B stylings of Wendy Ho and the antics of burlesque superstars The Wau Wau Sisters, put on your party dress and pull up your big girl pants - it's going to be one incredibly funny night.

Produced by Julie Goldman, Erin Keating and Eve Ensler
Directed by Virginia Scott

@ The Zipper Factory Theatre
336 West 37th St.
between 8th and 9th Aves.

Tickets are $28
Click here to get tix in advance: http://www.thezipperfactory.com
or call 212-352-3101
20% discount for groups of 10+ - use code “ToughCookie” at checkout!

Videos/Words of the Day!

2008-04-23T05:37:00.002-07:00

Vidayos! 1st...there's a word for college kids that be dancin around in they dorm rooms like this, and that word is: HIGH.
Love you, kids!

There's a word for men who are so over the top macho that they be frontin masculinity SO HARD that it hurts...that word is: CLOSETED

Wendy Ho-The Special HoLympics

and finally...BUTT SEX.

Happy Hump Day!

BLOGS, BLOGS, BLOGS!

2008-03-18T20:29:00.002-07:00

Hey y'allz! Here's several hot press clips from today!
I'm working with Tionna Smalls of TALK DAT ISH. She used to write an advice column for Gawker, and now she's turning into a media mogul! And so of course...SHE HANDLIN DIS HO'S SHIT! Take a look at dis:
D Listed
crunktastical.net
ohnotheydidn't

AND
this fantastic interview on gay.com

yippeeeeeeeeee, faggots!

4 mo' days till frisco where i won't be usin no crisco, they asses is aleady lubed!

The Hung and the Breathless

2008-02-22T10:04:00.002-08:00

Y'allz! I got a myspace shout out from my new friend George who is the hairstylist over at the Young and The Restless! He done tole me that all them bitches be singin Bitch I Stole Yo Purse over in they dressing room! Now, y'allz...this is a supreme honor for me #1 cuz I used to watch this program or "story," as my Grandma liked to call it in the summertime when my parents would send me to their version of "fat camp," aka my Grandma's house. Grandma was sposed to make me eat better and exercise...but we ended up fagging out together with episodes of the Y & R, ice cream, and really RED LIPSTICK! We would sit in front of the tv after our morning house cleaning chores and scream obscenities at Jack Abbott (YOU'RE AN ASS!) and Jill Foster Abbot (SNEAKY BITCH!)and Katherine Chancellor (IRON MAIDEN!) Victor Newman (STICK YO DICK IN MY MOUTH!)--kidding on that last one, but this is where I learned that having a potty mouth was FUN, y'allz. I was a 10 year old little chubbette telling people that I wanted to be the president of Jabot cosmetics..well until Grandma showed me my first R rated movie, The Best Lil Whore House in Texas--then I wanted to have big boobs and a chicken ranch! I think you can see this inspiration of dramatic cosmetic flair AND tradin poon for chickens in my act. I only wish my Grams was around to see this today, but I'm SURE she's got a hand in this somehows!
these 2 bitches were always our FAVORITES...

2 very special valentine's day videos

2008-02-19T18:58:00.002-08:00

1st-- a collaboration with the BRILLIANT John F. O'Donnell! And of course our directing/editing team: Heather Collis and Ben Knox!! We shot and edited all in one day!

And Jazzmun in Los Angeles covers me again--she does me such honor! Dat queen is SO PRETTY TOO! I'M JEALOUS of her beauty!!!

This coming Tuesday/ CD Sale!!!

2008-02-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

What up, peeps?
So here's the latest Ho News for February so far! Its Black History Month, and what better way to celebrate than to do some singin and carryin on in the name of FREEDOM...OR FREE SHIT..which ever one makes you happier!
Lots of good shit happening!
Super Who's day? HO'S DAY...or night, rathter! This Tuesday, February 5th, at 10:30pm@ VLADA (dat's gay for SUPER HOT HOMO LOUNGE) 331 W. 51st Street bw 8th and 9th, NYC! I'm the HOstess with the MOstess at for this Tuesday night show that's guaranteed to be SUPER!--FREE SHOW! DJ Steven Paul Spinnin and my girl Singer/Songstress Maddy Wyatt will be joining me to sing her newest hit, "ODE to BARACK." Go check this song out at: www.maddywyatt.com--FREE download!!!
I'm gonna sing some of my regular tunes, play a game or 2, give away FREE prizes, and I **MIGHT** try to pull song about Hillary outta my pussy, or Maddy suggested we might just arm wrestle! Either way its gonna be one HELL of a show!!!

ALSO....
I am givin y'all somethin you can FEEL...AGAIN!

****In honor of Black History Month and VD, my album is now on sale for $10--this price includes shipping AND a swatch of my panties! CLICK HERE, and then click BUY NOW on the page!! This album is the best Valentine's Gift you could ever get that someone special--put on track number 10 and just SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!! TRUST, YO MAMA GONNA LOVE DIS ALBUM TOO! WE ALL DESERVE TO GET PAID AND LAID ON VALENTINE'S DAY! THIS ALBUM MAKES THAT POSSIBLE!!****

****LASTLY (IS DAT A WERD?)
Set yo' DVRS, muthafuckas!!! Tomorrow night at midnight Logo debuts The Ultimate Funniest Videos...if I'm not on that list, something is SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THE STATE OF GAYDOM IN DIS CUNTRY***

Aweright, now! Be good chilrens and listen to MamaHo...MamaSay...MamaSah...Mammakusah!
See you on Tuesday@ 10:30!!! And click this shit--BUY IT, BITCH!!!

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN

2008-01-15T13:59:00.000-08:00

No, not that time of the month! But time to go vote for my video! Click HERE.
This time they're doing ultimate funniest videos, and me wannsa be on that list! So VOTE!!!
Also, just know that my webpage is under construction right now. I think its looking pretty good,and if you wanna have a looksie--feel free! I would love yo feedbacks;-) I LOVE YOU!

TWO THOUSAND GREAT!

2008-01-14T13:39:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, dis ho sho did get busy at the end of last year! Lots of new goodies for the new year too! Wrapping up 2007: First and foremost The Gospel According to Ho--the one woman show that I produced and starred in at Ars Nova was a fantastic start to what I hopes turns into an ongoing relationship with this theater! We sold the bitch out and that's always an amazing feeling! Ben Rimalower directed and it was such a flow-flow experience...like a red rivah flowin! We worked the bitch out, rehearsed it, and then I went home and wrote my ho ass off, and it paid off! We are now talking development of the show with Ars Nova--this means mama can be an artist and not have to worry all about dis bizness! o-KAY? More on that later! If you wanna see more pics go to: broadwayworld.com they did a real nice job with photo coverage!
I went home to Kansas City for Chrima and my parents got a puppy and she is the cutest thing in the world! Her name Shelby and I almost squeezed the life out of her cuz she is THAT CUTE!! She's a wheaten terrier, or as I like to call em TOO CUTE TO BE ALIVE! Look at that baby with mama and daddy. They were meant to be! Now if only my mama could learn to take a picture. oh well. I'm gonna love her forever! you too, mama, i'm gonna love you forever!!!
Now I'm back in NYC and just tryin to get my groove back. How does a ho like me do that? Well, I like Bikram Yoga...you know...sweat yo' prayers, y'allz. Wanna see what dis ho look like w/out the wigs and successories? Come by Bikram Yoga NYC midtown sometime--I DARE YOU!!! ONLY DA STRONG SURVIVE. That's all for now. Who loves you like a ho love a good pair of flip flops after a night of trickin in high heels? DIS HO, DAT'S WHO!!!

what had happened wuz

2007-11-16T11:49:00.000-08:00

i got my subscription update from Alexyss taday. it says BLACK PUSSY. i got so excited by dis! yes! Alexyss gon' give me one taday, chile. i'm with her all the way to the end of the video...and then an umbrumpt turn...to da left..to da right...now dip baby, dip...she...whut?
an umbrella...lil daisy dukes...lil panteez...what da fuck?

Jazzmun makes my job easier!

2007-10-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

Now I aints gots to show up on the West Coast to work, cuz my drag queens got it handled!!!
Work, gurl!!! LOVE IT!

Happy Birthday, Madge!!!

2007-08-16T14:06:00.000-07:00

I love this woman..she 49 now...just like my mama...and still is workin it out...just like my mama! this be my favorite clip of her--and prahly the best acting she ever did! that's not a dis--its just da troof. you want acting--get meryl---you wanna TRANSCEND and TRANSFORM--call dis bitch!!!

The Special Holympics!

2007-08-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

Show Some Love Tuesday #6: Daniel Reichard

2007-08-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

oh shit! Dis fool and I go way back to when I first moved to New York in the summer of 2002. He was workin his way up from Forbidden Broadway to playing Keith Haring at the Public's production of Radiant Baby. We met at a 9/11 commemoration party--I was being disrespectful (of course)--telling people Osama Bin Laden was my celebrity crush--and singing OSAMA SAY OSAMA SAH MAMAKUSAH. People were already starting to hate--but not this bitch! He pulled me over and said, "who the fuck are YOU, GURL?" And so it began. We were young and as much in love as we could be--people were jealous of how much fun we could have--and they still IS. Nights were spent around the piano..where the first seedling of my hit song FUCK ME began to sprout. I set him up with his live in love--they still goin strong! He set me up with confidence to take over this city as a bonafide, card carryin HO. I owe this bitch a LOT.
So I be showin some love! You can go show him some love too! He plays Bob Gaudio in the hit broadway show-- JERSEY BOYS--he's been with it since its inception at La Jolla! Or you can check out one of his concerts sometime like I did this Sunday past--we ended up cruisin around in a white limo--cuz no matter how big we blows up--we always gon' be some TRIZASH. Jealous? yeah, we're used to it! oh! how i love you, Daniel Reichard!

Bitch I Stole Yo Purse makes TV debut tonight on LOGO!

2007-08-12T12:07:00.000-07:00

12AMEST NEW NOW NEXT!

Here's the uncensored version one mo' time just for fun:

additional times: 2am Tuesday August 14th, 7am &7pm Friday August 17th

You're 30?? You look GOOD, gurl!

2007-08-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

I know I look good, bitch! I'm 30! Not 60! My skin ain't saggin, I ain't got no turkey lurkey chin yet! So QUITS IT!
I had an AMAZING birfday as you can tell from the pics above! Thanks to everyone who showed up at my party and to all of you who wished me well on this very special day.
I am a very lucky girl..I mean WOMAN! Now, dontchoo go callin me m'am yet!

PSWho?

2007-07-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went and shook my groove thang at this crazy PS1 place in LIC. I got hot, sweaty, drank sangria, and frenched on my child molester lookin boyfriend. Y'all should definitely check this party out. My favorite song that we danced to was called READ A BOOK. Now I wonder why a Ho like me would love a song like dis?
check it:

I've seen da future

2007-07-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

and her name is Alexyss....

Ho Unplugged!

2007-06-25T15:10:00.000-07:00

TONIGHT! The Wendy Ho Show--Gay Pride Special!

2007-06-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

Midgets and Faggots and Jews, oh MY!

Bob for it, beotch!

2007-06-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

JarJarMaine is a genius! Watch Dis!!!

The Kissing Booth hosted by Brandy and Sara Jo

2007-06-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

(Photo by: Marianne Ways)

Okay, y'all. I am having too much fun with the comedy kids. Last night I did the Kissing Booth: Prom Special with Brandy Barber and Sara Jo Alloco at the Tank. Can you say it turned into the FUCK BOOF?

Me and Mz. Mizz. Mizz Mizz Jones...we got a thang goinz on!

2007-05-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

I was on HOT 97 this mornin, y'allz and it was HOT. The Miss Jones in the Morning Show had me, Mz. Wendy Ho on the show. Miss Jones saw me at her show at Caroline's a few weeks ago, and loved "Bitch I Stole Yo' Purse," so she axed me to come on and the play the "1st cuzzin of Nappy Headed Ho," and I said, "HELLZ YES, GURL!" So it was a BLAST!!!!
However, there was DRAMA, Y'ALL. So they played the first verse of "Purse," on the air, and the word CUNT went out over the airwaves 3 times...oops...her editor made a mistake, so she cut the song, went to commercial, and called that stoopit bitch into the studio. He was all "I thought the song said '(eye on yo purse) it remind me of a GUN,'" to which Jonesy replied, "a GUN? EMPTY IT OUT LIKE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH??? PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTEXT!"
OH SHIT! I loved seein that boy squirm. Mz. Jones was so nice to dis ho, and tole me I could come back whenever I wanted! Can I get a whut! whut!
hollllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! CUNT CUNT CUNT! Dat just adds to my legend, y'all! Thanks, Jonesy! Now where can I get dis outfit??

Show Some Love Tuesday #3: Craig Levy

2007-05-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

This is my producer/writing partner/sound engineer/ one of my best frenz in da world. We had a baby togethra named Ho...she has a new album out! You done bought it yet?
You stoopit if you haven't... anyways..we met way back in the winter of 2005. I wrote a song called "we are one," a gospely, inspirashuns song...fo real..it wasn't dirty or nothin. I was with a boyfriend at the time who didn't want me to sing like Wendy Ho...so I shut up for him...I'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN...I digress...I tole Craig about an ep that I put out in the summer of 2003 called, "Wendy Ho: Bitch Off A Leash," and he tole me straight up that I was stoopit for shuttin myself up on account of some man. I so glad he was right. He gave dis a Ho a voice, and then he gave me a pen and said, "write, bitch!" We've been at it ever since and I hope we never stop. I loves you Craig! If you ever wanna great experience in the recording studio go to his website: www.littlepioneer.com
He's amazing.

Day after The Wendy Ho Show

2007-05-03T01:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who showed up, hoed up, and throwed up--especially Judy Gold for throwin up all over the audience--um dat bitch is CRAZY. Gotta give the bitch props, though, she offended an audience member enough to get them to LEAVE. Way to go, Judes! Jim David canceled on us, because he was passed out over at The Anal Hut Bar & Grill. Producing is crazy, y'all. I am hungs ovra.
xo-ho

The Wendy Ho Show Tonight @ Caroline's!

2007-05-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

da unclub

2007-04-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

April 27th marks one of the funnest and funniest nights I've ever had. It was the unclub--hosted by Becky Donohue, Sergio Chicon, & Michelle Buteau. Dese fools sho do know how to throw down. If this happens again, y'all--YOU GOTS TO GO.

Now I've known Mz. WhoSaidItISaidItWhutWhutButeau for about a year now and I'm now in LURVE with Becky Donohue..who else can you straight up talk about keepin yo pussy fresh in tupperwear right off the bat wit? huh? Becky Donohue dat's who! I didn't get a chance to bond too much with Mr. Chicon, but he brought da flava and da fire on this night!
I met a LOT of fun peeps tonight, and if I don't mention you here, its just cuz I don't remember yo' name...but I loveshoo!
The night ended with singing karaoke with my old bud John Francis O'Donnell, the Hazzards' Anne Harris, new friend Aubrey Tenant, the gorgeous, Crystal Gayle singin Brandy Barber, Nick Kroll (who busted out some Paula Abdul shit that was HILAIR) and some pretty redhead that I forget her name, but we was runnin in the nights, dancin on the ceiling, gettin some good lovin gone bad, dry humping to some Dionne Warwick that's what friends is for, 2 Steps forward...I SMOKE CRACKALACKA SHACKALAKA GOOD TIME...SHIT! If you was there...forgive me for frenching the child molester lookin dude all night long....I don't know how he persuaded me to do that...but it were FUNS!
Here's me doin my thang:

Final Ho&Mo tonight @ Therapy 11pm

2007-04-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Dis is it, y'all sad but TRUE...HO&MO are hittin the road. I'm gonna go cry now... so just cum, kay?...dat's what I like to say to all my Johns.
Now don't go thinkin crazy-- that we got fired or some bull shit, we decided to leave on a good note. Mo's moving onto writing and directing his sure to be off-Broadway hit "the choice," and I'm gonna be hoin and growin elsewheres!
Did you order my cd yet?

Ashy Larry LOVE dis Ho

2007-04-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

Take one look at the picture above, and just imagine Ashy Larry and Wendy Hoz kidz! Can you say ashy hoz? I was on the Greg Charles Show at Caroline's on Broadway last night, and brought this man to his knees! I was in the middle of singing "Fuck Me," to a man in the audience, his wife was sitting in the front row with a blue tooth on her ear, and I said "dat's right blue toof, laugh it up! shove dat blue toof up yo pussy!" I looked to the back and Donnell was full on slapping the floor. He was nice enough to purchase 3 cds after the show. I autographed one of them "Ashy Larry--Let's FUCK! XO-HO" I got word that Donnell be listenin to the cd all da time. Love me some ash!!!

HerStory

2007-04-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

a timeline of ho
august 7, 1977 i am bornt under a street lamp in the royal village trailer court--toledo, ohio--da poorman's detroit, daddy was a fry cook, mama was 19 years old

1978 daddy leaves us..i'm one year old..so i don't really know the difference

1982 ...now i know da difference cuz everytime my mama slap me in da face she scream "yo daddy was a fry cook who LEFT us"...i am 5 years old for half of dis year 1984...2nd grade and da black boys all try to kiss me...i don't know whyz, but I like it and I start charging them a quarter each time they want to kiss me...i get caught...sent to the principalia's office with 20 dollas of quarters in my pocket... fo da first of many times i am shamed into submission..i stop selling kisses 1985...3rd grade and i am president of da brownies...dese girls love me...we tuck our jumpers into our skirts and walk around singing Peaches' Girlfriend...you know you shouldn't let him treatcha so bad...and da jets... i gots a crush on you. 1986..mama gets married to a new man named harold junkins..he is nice, but sometimes he mean to me..when i don't pick up my toys and let the dog sit on my shoes... he moves us across town to a big new house...and a stoopit new school. i hate dis new school all da kids are mean to me, they make fun of my clothes...and call me a fatty..i say "i ain't fat, i'm healthy!" but dat just makes them laugh at me more...i am so unhappy until I meet Tameko Cook 1986-1989 da Tameko Cook years...we are best friends and love each other...dis gurl has no idea what an impact she make on my life...she call me on da phone and ax me..gurrrl...you wanna come to my mama's jerry party? i say "who jerry?" she say "you know, earrings, necklaces, bracelets" i LOVE JERRY...except when its peelin and turn yo skins green..dat is true to dis day. 1990 we gots to move again...to Erie, Pennsylvania, and I am now 13 years ode..i got my period dis year on Chrima day...my mama say "Merry Chrima" i use always maxipads with the wangs and it feel like i am wearing a diaper on my ass...i see those lil tampons..they look like little white mouses...i wonder what they are for...how do you use them? we get the sex talk at school, and i ax da teacher "how do you use a tampon?" and everybody laugh...she sends me to the pricipalia office 1991 high school..and i do mean HIGH..cuz i wuz for most of it... to be continued

Bitch I Stole Yo Purse Video!!!

2007-04-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

Here it be, y'all!

Thanks to all of da peeps that showed up last night for my album release/video premiere party! It was a BLAST and a great success! If you weren't able to make it, my cd is now available on dey website for $12— includes shipping! So order one, and I'll get one of my pimps to send it yo way!

CD RELEASE PARTY TONIGHT!!!

2007-04-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

Shout out!!! Cinci Consravatories of Music

2006-03-13T06:29:00.000-08:00

Sendin a special shout out to my peeps at CCM--I caught word dat dese peeps are doin dance routines to Bitch I Stole Yo' Purse in dey Jazz Class! DAT done make my heart to a triple garangaTAY...okay??
Sendin my love, Cincinatti!!!
(tune of WKRP theme)
If you, if you evah wondras
Wondras whatevra happent to Ho
She livin on da Streets of Cincinatti
Cincitatti Music ConservratorEE
I'M AT CCM dey college dat keepin it real fo Hoes like me!

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

because I deserve the best in life.....

2006-03-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

and SOME muthafuckas ain't realized this YET
AND CUZ
i can't quite afford a real Louis Vuitton, and my purse stealin days have been released
AND CUZ i have an entitlement issue larger than my ASS--and that's pretty BIG
AND CUZ if other peeps have more than I do--i ain'ts evolved enuff yets to be HAPPY FOR DEMS---

I like to make myself feel like a high class ho by getting away wit the followins PRIVILEDGES:

I like to take shits in the big bafroom--you KNOW da mansion?? (bullits is ritzy fritzy!)

okay some people call it da handicapped bafroom, but really now--how many Christopher Reeve muthafuckas you see in yo' workplace?? I would gladly step aside if I DID see one--as I am a very compassionate ho. But I just have to say, when the clock strikes poop, I STRUT my ass ALL the way down to the last stall--pretendin its a catwalk the whole way down there--with each sway of my hips I say to my self "u worf it, gurl! u worf it gurl!!!" AND its a taller toilet, so you ain't got to do a full squat to get down on it. It is MY time...LUXURY!

and fo' a real HUNGRY LADY SPERIENCE there's always SEAFOODIN

Seafoodins is when you out on a date with some broke ass muthafuck that you know you don't even LIKE, but you was bored and hongry so you said yes (you might fuck him later--that's when you REALLY BORED, or D-runk) anyways you hongry and that cheap bitch took you to Denny's for a dolla 99 slam..proceed to SLAM HIS ASS WIT GROTESKNESS! GROSS HIS ASS OUT BEYOND BOUNDARIES AND TIME BY chewin yo' food wit yo' mouf FULLY OPEN...chew da food up, spit it up on yo plate, and then start pickin at it with a fork if you gots to, belch, swish da food wit yo Dr. Pepper, do whatever you gots to do to make him lose his appetites--so you can eat HIS food dat he ain't hongry enough to eat no mo'--O-KAY? It'll teach him that EATIN should always be a privilege NOT a dolla 99.

AIN'T IN THE MOOD FO' SEX??

Blame it on the clunks--now I already done told you what clunks is (refer back to 'who dat ho?' if you needs to. Back when I was wit my boyfriend, Darryl, he had vorasious sexshul appetizer. One night he was rubbin up on me from behind and I said "not in it tonight, Darryl." He said, "Ho! You betta gimme mine." I flipped back the covers and went downstairs to dey kitchen, I put some ketchup and lil peice of catfood on my finger, put it in my draws. I came back up stairs and got into bed. Darryl start rubbin on me 'gin. I said, "DARRYL! Let me show you somesin..." I pulled out dat ketchup-kitty and oh the horror that beseeched he face! "dis what I got comin out me right now...now shake it off, sucka!" He never bothered me again..we also broke up 2 days latra--but that's besides da point.

NEED A NEW OUTFIT? (oldie but goodie)

go to tha sto' charge it, wear it, bring it back reakin of smoke and sweat..when the salesperson axes you if you wores it alreadies--no need to get offended--just smile sympathetically and say "its okay, gurl, my mama couldn't read goods neithra...see dese lettras right here? they spell out--all goods returnable within 30 days of purchase."

Mo on priviledges latrahs....maybe.

dui

2006-03-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

4:15am, 07/12/2001
brrrrrrrrring, brrrrrrrrrrrring, brrrrrrrring
Hello?
Mom?
Wendy? What's wrong?
I'm in jail............
What?
I'm in jail I got a dui...
WENDY!
Mom, I KNOW...there's nothing to say...can you come get me?

Rollin down the highway doin 60
Lights start flashin comin from behind
I forgot to use my turnsignal
oh yeah and I was a little far gone at the time

Officer I ain't had that much to drink
I used mouthwash, that's the culprit why my breaf do stink
Mr. Policman please don't make me blow this horn
I'm on my knees, I'm beggin please, I'll even shuck yo' corn

I ain't drunk I'm just fucked up

I got picked up by the po-po
Frisked down like some dime store ho-ho
I like twinkees so much bettra
Yellow cake and creamy centra
My face is up against the glass
Handcuffs and a fist up my ass
I can't believe I'm getting fisted
That ain't a fist my underwear is twisted